Newt's Fall
by that-whovian-nerdfighter
Summary: Short 2 chapter fic about Newt's attempted suicide
1. Chapter 1

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't stay in this godforsaken place any longer. It wasn't happy. It wasn't safe. It wasn't even natural. Two years and not even a single drop of rain, that just wasn't right. Were they even outside? He didn't know. He was starting to wonder if this was even real. Maybe he was having a nightmare, or maybe he was in a coma. He reminded himself that he would find out pretty soon because soon this would all be over. Soon enough he would be free. Free from this place, free from the running, and free from the monsters.

Newt stood on top of the wall of the maze. He had made it until his dead end so no one would notice or run into him. He was alone. He was going to die here and no one was going to be able to find him because they Grievers would take him away before they could. There was something about that last thought that filled him with relief. No would ever know that he killed himself, that he was responsible for his own death._ No_, Newt thought to himself, _the creators made you do this, it was the creators, they made you this way. _It didn't matter. Newt had nothing to worry about anymore. He looked down; it was at least 50 feet. His muscles ached from carrying himself to the top. He looked back towards the direction of his "home" knowing that he would never return. Even though he had been living there for two years, it didn't feel like much of a home.

Newt thought about his first day in the Glade. He thought about the fear and confusion that had consumed him. How disoriented he felt after climbing out of the Box. No friends, no family, they even took his memories away. In the first week the only thing that Newt could think to do was panic and sob. After a while he accepted his new life and started to help out around the place. But no more. Soon he would be gone and no one would think twice about it.

Except Newt. Right now as he stood on the edge of the wall he couldn't stop thinking. About the Glade, about the life he might have had, and most notably he thought about his friends. Alby, Frypan...and Minho. Newt cared about Minho more than he'd like to admit. Hell, he loved him. But he'd never tell him that, and he would never have to. He could see Minho's face now in his mind. He wondered what it would look like when he realized that he and Newt would never meet again. Tears formed in Newt's eyes. His friends, the people that helped him, guided him. He was leaving them for good. _Abandoning your own friends_ he thought. It almost made him climb down. But he couldn't, because it was time now. Time for it all to end. He was so sick of the other Gladers saying that "we'll find a way out" and "only time will tell". He heard those phrases so often and they didn't mean anything anymore. Time hadn't told him shit in two years and he was done waiting. Newt hoped to god that there was something better out there for his soul. Somewhere he didn't have to live in constant fear, panic, or worry. He could only hope as he closed his eyes…and jumped.


	2. Chapter 2

Newt woke. His vision was blurred and he couldn't tell where he was. _Is it over?_ he thought to himself, _am I dead? _Something about his stiffness told him that he was still alive. He opened his eyes slowly as he began to regain focus. He was alive alright. And worse, he was still in the Glade. Somehow he had found himself in the bed in homestead, and in the same room where the people who got stung were treated. Two figures hovered over him. They were looking at each other, making barely audible murmurs. He finally snapped out of his daze to realize who the figures were. Alby and Minho.

Newt snapped his eyes shut before they could notice that he was awake. _Bloody hell_ he thought, keeping his breaths shallow. Newt could only imagine what his friends must be thinking. How scared they must have been when they found his crumpled body at the end of the Maze. A sudden wave of guilt washed over him as he realized the trouble he'd probably caused his friends. _How did they find me?_ he questioned silently. He wondered if his friends had concluded what he had tried to do. Newt wasn't sure whether he regretted his decision or not. The only thing that could make him feel remorse for his act was the pain he had inflicted upon his friends. Another wave; it was guilt again.

It was now that Newt decided to open his eyes. He let out a soft wince to indicate he was awake. Alby and Minho quickly turned their vision towards their friend. "Newt!" they both exclaimed. Their eyes suddenly filled with relief. Alby was the first to ask questions.

"Newt, what happened to you?" he asked. Newt wasn't really sure how to answer that. Should he tell them? There wasn't much else he could say. The only other things out in the Maze are the Grievers and if they wanted to hurt him he'd be long dead by now.

"I fell" Newt replied after a long pause. It wasn't a complete lie.

"From where?" even though Alby was the one talking Newt was looking at Minho. His eyes were full of confusion and pain. Newt wanted to wash it all away.

"The wall" said Newt, still looking at Minho. He knew that Alby was going to ask him how he got on top of the wall. He knew he was going to ask _why_ he was on top of the wall. He didn't want to admit it. The whole point of Newt jumping off the walls were that his friends would never find out what he had done to himself. But yet here he was. Lying on a bed and being interrogated. He never wanted this. Not for him, not for his friends, not for anyone. All he wanted was for it to be over. So instead of answering Alby's questions Newt decided to ask his own. "How did you find me?". Minho answered.

"It was Alby. I noticed you were late getting back but I was exhausted so I sent him to go find you". _He what?_ Newt was surprised. Then again, Minho _is_ the keeper of the runners. Newt gave Alby a look that said "Is this true?". Alby apparently heard him loud and clear. He nodded in response. A shout sounded from outside the homestead.

"I gotta go" said Alby, "I still have a Glade to run", and he was off. The room suddenly went quiet, but there was something comfortable about the silence. Newt tried to sit himself up but this caused a stabbing pain to run through his leg. He winced loudly.

"What's wrong?" asked Minho who grabbed Newt's arm. His heart jumped at the sudden contact.

"It's my buggin' leg, I must've fallen on it" Newt grunted as he slowly and carefully sat himself up to face Minho.

"Newt"

"Yeah?"

"Why were you on top of the Maze walls?". Newt wouldn't answer that question. It wasn't just that he wouldn't, he _couldn't._ He was too ashamed. Too upset. Minho spoke again; "How did you fall off?" he asked. There was sternness in his voice. Newt couldn't lie to his best friend.

"You don't want to hear it" Newt barely responded.

"Yes I do"

"Really, I know you're not much for emotions". Newt averted his gaze from his friend.

"Well I'll make a shuck exception then" Minho said impatiently. New knew that it wouldn't be long before Minho lost it. But what was he supposed to say? What if he did tell the truth, what then? Where would they go from there? Despite all of these questions running through his head Newt still reminded himself that he could trust Minho.

"I…" Newt croaked. Maybe it would be too painful but there was no turning back now.

"You what?" there was a slight hint of fear in Minho's tone now. Nevertheless it was time for Newt to tell his friend the truth. It came out a little louder than expected.

"I tried to kill myself, Minho!" Newt spat out. Minho's eyes went wide, impossibly wide. It hurt. "I'm so sick of this shuck place, I can't stay here anymore! I feel so trapped and helpless all the bloody time. I hate everything about this place and I'd rather die than live here! All of you shanks saying that things will get better and that we'll get out one day. I just can't keep believing any longer. I give up.". Newt was sure after that Minho would be angry. He'd probably yell at him. But that didn't happen, something different happened.

Minho kissed him.

What. _Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat_ was the only thought in Newt's head. His heart pounded. He was at a loss for words, but still he spoke "Minho what-"

"No" Minho said, still only inches from Newt. His face was blank, but serious. No?

"No what?" Newt barely managed. Something like a cool flame flared up inside him. He was so confused.

"I don't want you thinking like this anymore. I know I'm not exactly the most positive shank around here but we need you, understand?". Newt gulped. His heart continued to race. He nodded. "Good that" said Minho. Newt was still in complete shock. Did Minho do that just to shut him up or was it for…other reasons..? The two just stared at each other for a while, both wondering what was going to happen next. Then it happened again.

They kissed _again. _Now Newt was _really_ starting to wonder if all this was real. It was longer, and Newt remembered to kiss back this time. Afterwards they both looked a little stunned at each other. "Minho," Newt started "why…why are you doing this?". Minho looked as if he didn't have a proper answer. After a long pause he decided to answer.

"Because I like you too much." At this point Newt was almost convinced that he was still unconscious. However; this didn't stop him from making another confession.

"Yeah…I like you too much too."


End file.
